Scarcely a week passes that some notable figure is not called out for rude, crude, lewd, boorish or otherwise offensive (albeit perhaps not illegal) behavior. In a growing number of these cases of celebrities behaving badly, the alleged conduct in question occurred years or even decades earlier, and a common refrain we hear from the accused is “that is not the person I am now.”
Although I have to admit this response always struck me as a bit disingenuous, I am increasingly inclined to seriously entertain it, especially if the accused owns up to and demonstrates remorse for their actions. The question that keeps occurring to me is, “should everything we have ever said or done follow us our entire lives?” Is that fair? Is it even reasonable? Shouldn’t there be something like a statute of limitations on past bad behavior?
The pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, observed that “no man steps twice into the same river.” The river, of course, is a metaphor for the context of our lives. As Heraclitus noted, that river is down the mountain and out to sea. That world no longer exists.
Even if the world were the same, we are not the same, and I mean that in more than just the metaphorical sense. It has been estimated that, on average, the cells in our bodies are replaced about every 8 years. As the 6G version of myself (Okay, 7G . . . alright, alright, 8G – there, are you happy now?) I feel there have been significant improvements to the software over the years, if perhaps not the hardware which regrettably continues to decline into obsolescence.
The more recent software versions of myself have a greater appreciation and capacity for subtlety and nuance. My attitudes, opinions and beliefs have changed, as have my intellect and worldview. In short, I am both literally and figuratively NOT the same person that I was when I was a young man, or even a handful of years ago.
As just one example of the many changes wrought by age is that I now oppose the death penalty. I have come to this conclusion primarily because I believe that a non-zero risk of executing an innocent person is intolerable in a civilized society. But this change has also been influenced by practical considerations including the breathtaking expense and endless delays that are characteristic of capital cases.
Given the lengthy appeals process, it is not uncommon to see a 5G or 6G person being executed for a crime committed by a 3G or 4G predecessor. I will not go so far as to suggest that we are therefore executing an innocent person (although I just did in a sneaky way, didn’t I?), but having been thus delayed, I believe justice has been effectively denied to victim and perpetrator alike. And that’s assuming the alleged perpetrator was ever guilty in the first place.
Someone once asked me, “what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” I will not answer that question. However, I will admit there are things I have said and done that I am definitely not proud of, and some for which I am now frankly ashamed. Many of them occurred at a time in my life when youth might have been a plausible excuse. Others were more recent, and while it may seem a stretch to claim ‘youthful indiscretion’ as an excuse for something I did when I was 50, I am claiming it nonetheless. Looking back now, I was young when I was 50.
As perpetual works-in-progress, I believe each of us has the right to change. That right should extend to errors in judgment that were made by previous versions of ourselves. At the very least, I believe people who admit to and demonstrate remorse for a past transgression should be given the benefit of the doubt if there is no indication that it reflects the person they are now.
On the other hand, if the person in question was a dick then, and he or she still is, then all bets are off.